Small Group Leader Guidelines
These guidelines are the core to a successful, safe, and productive small group meeting. It is the leaders’ responsibility to read and teach, as well as enforce them during the meeting. The guidelines are a great tool for effective listening and communication. Each guideline serves a unique and important purpose. Even if there are only two or three people in the group, it is crucial that the leader enforce the guidelines in order to ensure a smoother transition as the group grows. It will also prevent bad habits from being formed within the original core group. Individuals are required to adhere to these guidelines in order to participate in the group.
1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings. This means not your spouse’s, girlfriend’s, or family members’ hurts and hang-ups. Focusing on yourself will benefit your recovery as well as the ones around you. Stick to “I” or “me” statements not “you” or “we. Please limit your sharing to three to five minutes. This is so that everyone has the opportunity to share. Do not take offense if the group leader has indicated that you have exceeded the five minutes. Do not feel singled out if this happens, this rule will be broken at times. However, it is important that everyone has an opportunity to share.
2. There will be no cross talk, please. Cross talk is when two individuals engage in a dialogue, excluding all others. Each person is free to express feelings without interruption (cross talk). Cross talk includes: distracting comments or questions, or speaking to another member of the group while someone is sharing. It is also considered cross talk if a member responds to what someone has shared during his or her time of sharing. Additional types of cross talk include: passing around candy, gum, etc., or handing a tissue or tissue box to someone who is crying during their time of sharing; there is healing in tears! There should be no questions during the open sharing. Questions can be answered following the meeting during fellowship at the Solid Rock Café.
3. We are here to support one another. We will not attempt to “fix” one another. We do not give advice, solve a problem someone shared, offer book referrals, or offer counselor referrals without being asked for help! We are not licensed therapists nor are the group members! Speak only in terms of your own experience. NO SECOND SHARING PLEASE! IT PROMOTES FIXING!
4. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group! We are not to share information with our spouses, family, and/or co-workers. This also means not to discuss what is shared in the group among group members. This is called gossip! You may think it is harmless to discuss what others have shared in the group, however it may come back to haunt you! If this guideline is broken, the group member is warned. If it happens again, the group member will be asked to leave the group indefinitely. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others.
5. Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group. Therefore, please watch your language. The main issue here is that the Lord’s name in no way be used inappropriately.